Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
