i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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