the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Non-Jews are for practice
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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