have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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