i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
