I don't think brook has ever known best
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
