my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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