i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
