remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
