I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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