I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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