For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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