Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
