just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
