He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
