i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
