if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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