i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
