Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
