he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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