I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
