Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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