thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
