i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
