my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
