Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
