Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
