They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
