Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
