We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
