I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
