Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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