seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
