My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
