Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I wish there were birth control emojis
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
