party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
