i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
