Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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