the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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