I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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