Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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