I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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