talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
