you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
