I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's official drugs can't kill me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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