a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
