Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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