When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
