Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
