I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
