yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
