worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
