Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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