I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
