Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
