I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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