ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
