so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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