just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
