Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize