I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
