I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
